Unreadable
by AnonymousDH
Summary: It was common sense, but the rule didn't exist before she met him. Aa story of how Donna's rule came to be. Donna as a lawyer, Harvey as … well you'll see. AU, based on a curious cat question


First of all, 816 OH MY GOD. dslajghlksdj finally, I'm so shook still and I know everyone is writing happy fics and then there's me with this. It's not what I'd normally write so keep that in mind.

This AU is based on a Curious Cat question I got the other day **"If Darvey were written in a fic based on your life, what would they have to face?"** Now I want to clarify that my life is in no shape way or from interesting enough to justify being a darvey fic, but there has been a particular experience I went through the past few months and it made me wonder what it would be like to put darvey in that. So this AU is mostly written from Donna's POV(me in this case), you'll see why. I also don't know how long I'll feel comfortable with leaving this story published, but I have to follow where my inspiration takes me. and that meant this.

I do hope you'll give it a chance

* * *

**Unreadable**

It was common sense, but the rule didn't exist before she met him,

a story of how Donna's rule came to be. Donna as a lawyer, Harvey as … well you'll see.

* * *

She steps off the elevator on the fiftieth floor, a Monday morning mid-July, eight am, her stomach in knots as she waits for one of her new colleagues to welcome her. It's taken over two years since graduation to find herself a job, the law degree easier obtained than her high school diploma but that was no guarantee for the future. She took some well-deserved time off after her studies, needing it to rebuild herself, to find herself. One event after the other prolonging that break; the constant stream of rejections a heavy weight on her shoulders and every time it got harder to get back to what she set herself out to do, become a lawyer.

"Donna Paulsen?"

She snaps out of her thoughts, lets out a breath and looks up to the woman walking towards her. She's a few years older than she is but she seems nice. She smiles, steps forward and extends her hand. "Katrina Bennet," she introduces herself. "Welcome to Pearson Hardman."

"Thank you," she repeats, bringing her hand back to her purse, clutching it close as she follows the woman she just met to her place in the bullpen. Four faces turn in her direction when she enters the aisle, each of them getting up and introducing themselves as well.

"Hi," an older guy gets off of his chair, shaking her hand as she repeats her name just after Katrina had told the rest. "I'm Louis."

"Alex," another says. A brunette is next then, "I'm Claire." And at last the woman seated on her left, another brunette. "I'm Rachel Zane."

Katrina turns to Donna again, pointing her to her desk and handing her the note the IT department had given her for the redhead. "Why don't you settle in, get things started up and I'll guide you around the rest of the firm later."

She does as told, slowly setting up her accounts and letting the new surroundings settle in on her. It's half an hour later when she tours the firm, following Katrina again. The route pretty much the same as the one she was shown on her job interview, except this time she's introduced to everyone around. Starting two rows behind her own, she greets the only person she knew from her time at university: Samantha Wheeler. The blonde lawyer, however, having landed a job right after graduation and thus now two years her senior within the firm. It's another reminder of the struggle that came before but she's glad she doesn't have to work directly with her acquaintance. At least not yet.

A row down from hers houses three people, two international employees. Both from Britain. The third a guy her age whose name turns out to be Mike Ross. Katrina and Donna cross the bullpen quickly, it normally holding nearly fifty associates but it being summer means there are only half as much. Donna shakes hands left and right, does her best to remember the names as they finish the last row of desks.

"Reception is over there," Katrina points to her left, and she follows the blonde lawyer to introduce herself to two older women. Gretchen and Norma. The two secretaries seem nice and from the little anecdote Katrina tells her on the way she gets the same impression, they pass a corner office now. The blonde tells her it's Jessica's. She remembers the name from the interview she had the week before, but the woman isn't in today.

"And over here, we have the IT department," Bennett continues, knocking on the already opened glass door before she steps inside the little office on the 46th floor. "Gentlemen," she starts, waiting for the redhead to have followed her, "this is our newest employee."

Donna eyes the office first, it's clearly different from the rest of the firm and no doubt a mixture of the two people it hosts. Posters with quotes on one side, sport attributes on the other. She smiles at them both, the youngest of the two guys walking towards her first. He looks bony, a bit timid and he stutters a little but shakes her hand and introduces himself as Benjamin.

"Donna Paulsen," she answers, taking her hand back she turns to look at the other guy. He's the complete opposite of Benjamin, muscled, slick back hair and has a somewhat cocky air around him but it's the brought Cheshire cat smile that follows that pushes all the prejudices aside. He extends his hand, holding hers in a firm yet gentle shake. "Donna," the twenty-eight year old repeats her name, "I'm Harvey Specter."

She looks him in the eye, smiles again and the conversation that follows between the four of them is small, just the expected pleasantries of a first day but it gives her a moment to take it all in. What stands out the most is how different these two guys are from the rest of the bunch, while every lawyer she's greeted before was dressed in a suit, one more expensive than the other, these two clearly not following the same rules. Both just in a dress shirt, Benjamin's light blue, Harvey's crisp white but with his sleeves rolled up.

She thinks she could be friends with both of them.

"Ready?"

Katrina's voice breaks her thoughts, the conversation and she nods then. "Yeah," she answers, saying goodbye to the two guys and following her colleague back to their seats. The morning soon interrupted by the weekly briefing announcements, where she gets introduced once more by management. All employees turn to look at her again, but it's Harvey's eyes she catches in the distance.

The rest of the day that follows busy, not because of the workload but the first impressions having a tiring effect on her. The rest of the week is pretty much the same and by Saturday she's ready to sleep for a week but she's also found the passion for the profession again. Once she exuded during her years in college but lost in the years between and she happily shares her experiences with her friend Josephine from theatre over texts.

The second week, however, doesn't start as easily as the first. It's the blue screen and the sad smiley staring back at her that she sighs at her computer, wondering what on earth she already managed to screw up. "Shit," she mutters under her breath, trying to restart her computer but it results in the exact same screen. "Shit," she grunts once more, one of her pet peeves being not being able to solve things herself and if she were at home she'd have tried a thing or two with her laptop. The fact that it's company equipment in front of her making her walk over to the little glass office in the back of the firm.

It's Benjamin who helps her, reassuring her it's definitely not her fault and he hooks her up with a new computer. She smiles and she thanks him, but when her program stops working a day later and the entire computer again another day after that, she wonders if it isn't her after all.

She knows the route to the 46th floor by heart now, knuckles softly hitting the glass before she steps into the room. The two employees turning to look at her again before she explains the problem she's experiencing this time around.

Benjamin answers straight away, and it's become clear to her in the little time she's worked here that the younger one of the two is the one in charge. The whiz-kid that graduated at seventeen and has been in charge of the department for almost a decade. The other one working part-time as Jessica is putting him through college as of September. The thought amuses her as much as she admires the fact that the older one got back into studying but she doesn't get to dwell on it as both men discuss the problem. Benjamin eventually asking Harvey for his opinion.

He smirks, lets his arms rest on the back of the chair he's standing behind. "I think she might be doing it on purpose, to have an excuse to stop by."

Her head snaps to the left in a beat, eyes flickering up to meet Harvey's and if she wasn't so annoyed at what to her felt like her own incompetence she would have questioned why he knew this wasn't the first time she stopped by, but she merely laughs and shakes her head. "I assure you I'm not."

He bobs his head up and down, glances at Benjamin for a moment and then pushes himself onto his feet. "Right," he fires back, pushing one of his rolled up sleeves further over his arm, he steps away from the chair and towards her. "Let's see if we can fix this, shall we?"

She looks at his extended hand, glances back at Benjamin with a nod before she follows Harvey down the hallway. They walk side by side in silence until she reaches her cubicle, motioning to it to tell him this is her. She offers him her seat but he refuses, tells her to sit down instead.

She eyes him for a moment but does so at last, rolling to the side a bit to give him a better view of the screen in front of her. She explains the problem again, watching him as he nods and talks about a possible solution. He leans in then, half draped over her shoulder as he grabs the mouse. Hitting a command on her keyboard next.

Donna watches an algorithm run on her screen, she's got no clue what it's doing but he seems sure of himself. Mumbling something about a recurring problem and he doesn't know he's doing it, but it stops that unsettling feeling of her just doing everything wrong.

"There," he speaks then, clicking once more and he smiles brightly when she looks at him. "All fixed."

"Thank you."

"Any time."

.

**August**

It's the first Saturday of the month, the clock strikes six. The usual indicator to the end of a workday, a workweek, but this one is the start of a tradition. A hint of confusion washing over her face as her colleagues collectively get up, not one remaining seated to finish some draft. It's Rachel who stops at her desk and asks if she's coming.

"To what?"

"Drinks of course," the brunette smiles, "come on."

The redhead closes her files and gets up to follow the first friend she made within the firm to the associate's kitchen. The place too small for everyone but buzzing because of it. Rachel reaches for a bottle of red and two glasses, pouring before she can ask if Donna wants it to, she merely slides the glass to the redhead's direction. "I think a toast is in place."

"What are we toasting on?"

Harvey's voice makes both girls look at him, his eyes darting to Donna's in search for an answer it's Rachel who answers her friend.

"Donna survived her first two weeks here," she reasons and it's enough for Harvey to raise his glass of scotch. Letting it cling against hers.

"Congrats, Red."

She mirrors his motions, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. The alcohol leaving a burning but welcome sensation down her throat and as her colleagues unwind around her, she feels herself doing the same. Realising this could truly be a place she can call home. A thank you is on the tip of her tongue but she doesn't get to say it when Mike steals Harvey away, the girls soon joined by other colleagues and all she's left with is the feeling that the conversation flowed easier with him.

.

She clicks twice, the icon of her mouse changing into a loading symbol and eventually, her screen just turns white, freezing completely. It feels like clockwork by now and it annoys her to no end, how often this keeps happening. How much it keeps her from her work. She wonders often why a high-end firm like the one she works at doesn't have the newest equipment but it isn't her place to complain yet, and she's made peace with the fact that even for the littlest of things she has to go over to the IT department, the blessing and the curse of working on local servers.

She makes her way down to the little office, an explanation on the tip of her tongue as she turns to the door opening. Immediately coming to an halt when she finds it empty and a soft sigh falls off of her lips.

"You were looking for me."

Harvey's voice comes from behind and it startles her, so much so that she doesn't even notice how it was a statement and not a question, the smirk it gets delivered with confirming it even more but she only catches a glimpse of it as she turns on her spot to face him.

"I was," she admits. "Yes," the pause that follows a second too long and it's his grin that makes her remember the problem she encountered.

He nods, motions for her to get in his office and he follows close behind her. "Let's see, shall we," he answers, pulling his desk chair back and seating himself down. Logging into his computer he starts the control program, the screen filling with every employee's name, he scrolls through it in search for hers. "Donna…"

She hears him mutter her name, the program however sorted by surname and hers is on the tip of her tongue when he speaks again.

"PaulsenD, got it."

Donna can't help but frown, surnames aren't commonly used within the firm and while she can remember his, she also knows not everyone is like their colleague Mike Ross, photographic memory and all.

"Hmmm."

"What?" She whispers, stepping closer to get a better look at the screen.

He points at the list of programs, the one crashing in particular. "You managed to make Word use over a GB of RAM," he reads the status to her, turning to look at her.

She has an explanation or more precisely a lack thereof on the tip of her tongue, but he proceeds by telling her what the normal usage is and how it might have been caused, eventually fixing it. All things that aren't necessary for her to know or for him to explain to fix the problem but it does give her a welcome little break from her work.

"There you go."

"Thanks."

"Any time."

.

Donna lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes, by September her computer acting up is truly like clockwork. Hand already in the air, she doesn't knock when he already looks up at her mere presence.

"Hey," the one-word greeting dragged a bit as she walks forward, arms swinging from her side to behind her.

"Hey," Harvey repeats, a smile spreading across his face as he watches her walk to his. Turning his chair in her direction. "What is it this time?"

The question doesn't come as a surprise to either of them and she grins, takes another step forward until her hand falls on the edge of his table. The problem she explains similar to the ones she shared before, he's already halfway through the solution before she even finishes her sentence. The exchange ends like all those before, with the same six words. She has already made her way back to the door when it's his voice that stalls her.

"Tell me if this doesn't work, okay."

She looks over her shoulder in his direction, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "Guess I'll just stop by again then."

.

"Look."

Donna glances at the phone Mike holds in front of her, a laugh escaping her lips and she playfully slaps the blond guy's arm.

"What's so funny?"

The sudden appearance of Harvey's voice doesn't surprise her anymore, instead, she merely looks up at him. Bobbing her head in Mike's direction and she watches the older man take a look at the phone too. His hand soon finding Mike's shoulder and both of them laugh. It's clear to her that the two of them are close friends, and she smiles before taking the final sip of her bottle of beer.

"Another?" he asks, already having taken the empty brown glass from her hands. He does wait for her to nod before he disappears, returning with three beers a mere minute later and when he hands her hers, her fingers brush his for the briefest moment. "Cheers."

"Cheers," both Donna and Mike repeat, letting the neck of their beer bottle meet Harvey's. All three of them taking a sip next, the earlier conversation picked back up but this time it's Harvey joining in as well. As the evening falls the group of associates scattering around them increases, the group of three is pushed to the corner of the kitchen, until it's just the two of them and her back hits the wall.

She jumps forward a little in response, accidentally losing one of her pumps in the process. It's Harvey's hand finding her elbow in that exact moment, and he keeps her upright. She slips her bare foot back into her nude pump and as she does so she feels his eyes roam over her for a second but she doesn't think much of it. Eventually decides it's just him making sure she is alright.

"You're short," Harvey says, amusement palpable in his voice.

Donna looks down at her feet, her lips already parting for a witty retort but when she meets his eyes again she speaks the truth instead. "Sometimes I wish I was taller." She watches him nod, a motion she classifies as understanding. She only realises in what sense when he takes a sip of his beer and admits the same.

She chuckles softly, brows knitting together in confusion as she eyes him. "But –"

He shrugs, shakes his head as a form of explanation. "Jessica is taller," the words that follow not anything logical to clarify that and she figures he could read that off of her face when he mentions his younger brother is taller as well.

Taking a moment to think over his words, she realises it's the first thing he told her that has absolutely nothing to do with work. Curiosity makes her ask further and he opens up further than she expected him to do. Learning the age difference Marcus and him have, the different paths their lives have had and she thinks she finds a hint of jealousy when he tells her Marcus is getting married later that year.

She smiles softly and takes a sip of her beer, moving the bottle around in her hand. It's somewhat of a distraction of the words to come and she can't really explain to herself why she is telling him, a near stranger, something she hasn't told anyone before; the story of how her father lost her family's money.

He plays with the empty bottle in his hand, watches her as she takes sip after sip. Each one is bigger than the previous and faster than the one before. His head bobbing to the side he catches her eye again. "Another?" he asked, with a bob of his head.

"Ooh," she looks down, bringing it back up to finish it one go. "I can't," she explains, eyeing the clock above the cabinets once more. "I really need to go."

His lips set into a small smile and it takes a few seconds before he answers. "Thought you were rushing to get away from me indeed."

"That –" she pauses her rebuttal when she sees his teasing grin and she shakes his head. "I'm just running late, okay."

"Okay," he repeats and he takes the now empty bottle from her hand. "I'll take care of this."

"Thanks," she whispers, pushing herself back up to stand. Letting the palms of her hands run over her dress to smooth out the fabric. "See you on Monday."

"See you on Monday."

.

As the heatwave that tormented the city settles, so seem the problems her computer had been encountering. The little chats they had over discussing problems exchanged for those during the weekly briefings, the lunches become a moment for the associates to walk around the busy streets of New York City again. The group a mixture of different departments each and every time but a given is him joining whenever he's at Pearson Hardman. And whenever they run into each other at the firm, it's always paired with shared smiles, greetings of wishes of a good evening. Even doing so when another colleague tells him the same, but only responding when she tells him the same.

It's one late Thursday evening, mid-October, when she's stepping out of the elevator and into the lobby. A scarf wrapped around her neck, and arms clutching onto each other as she makes her way over to the door that she spots him outside. Talking there with Mike and Benjamin, she shares a smile to all three of them, pushing the door open and holding it in place for the group of three to enter again.

Harvey being the last to do so, he takes the door from her hand. The moment used to exchange places, circling around the other, their gazes locked until she's on the other side and he's halfway in. It's a call from Mike that has him look away, a nod next. "Good night."

"Good night," she repeats, averting her gaze from the firm to the street ahead. Starting her daily route back home, she doesn't know what it is that makes her look over her shoulder as she nears the corner of the street but she does. And when she finds him standing there still looking at her, her stomach flips.

That sensation something she hasn't experienced in years, not one she'd been actively looking for and yet one she can't seem to shake. Confusion the main emotion that washes over her, her head leaning against the window of the subway and at every halt, seeing people get in and out of the door she thinks of that moment again. Seeing him standing there and a deep sigh escapes her lips, she pulls her phone from the pocket of her trench coat and texts her friend Josephine.

\- **Jo, I think I might have a crush on a colleague. Help.**

\- _WHAT? Tell me everything._

\- **This isn't funny, I just wanted to work in an office. Not be in The Office, Jim and Pam and all. – **She texts back, referring to the show both girls had watched together. She was sure Josephine would get the reference..

\- _Just see how things go, Debs. Who knows what this could be._

\- **Probably nothing. I don't even know if he's single. Hell, I don't even know if I want this. - **She texts back, she thinks it's such cliché, and she doesn't want that. Doesn't want to be that person, not now she just found a place to work

.

While the first Saturday of the month drinks had always been a firm-wide tradition, going out to a nearby bar on the other Saturday's had become the ritual of the lawyers. And thus, like the week before she finds herself in the back of a little bar. The conversation flowing as freely as the alcohol and yet since that one subway ride two weeks ago she can't help but think that she would have an even better time if he was here, if he were able to attend those drinks again like before his classes had started.

It's a stupid thought and one she wills herself to shake, to call untrue but is proven right when he enters the bar an hour after they arrived. He's greeted by Mike first, that's what makes her look up. A sudden nervousness washing over her and all she can do is smile. She hates when things take her by surprise, when she isn't in control and when she can't read the situation. Not being able to read her own feelings the worst of all and it's only confirmed when he grabs a spare chair and places it in between hers and Harold's.

His movement breaking the conversation she was having with the other lawyer, but she is glad he did. Harold, however, clueless as ever, sees it as his day being made and tries to strike a conversation with him. The sigh that leaves Harvey's lips amuses her and she finds it endearing that he actually does answer but to call it engaging would be too big of a description. Every question Harold asks, repeated by him to her, wanting to know her view on the matter and it's a mutual dislike for a particular drink everyone else in the firm seemed to enjoy has Harold of all people call the two of them weird. It results in an eye roll on Harvey's part and that alone makes Donna grin, the look shared between them an agreement on them being the only normal ones of the bunch and he orders another round of scotch for everyone at the table.

The topics change over the course of the night, the people she talks too as well. But still being seated beside him makes her overhear him telling Tanner he is in fact single. Her stomach somersaults again, the glass in her hand shaking a little. The answer in a way what she wanted to know, in another way the complete opposite of an easy out, this possibly meaning she'd have to face whatever it was that was going on inside herself.

It's well over midnight when they decide to call it a night, the group of ten down to five. Mike and Rachel leaving together, it's just Donna, Harvey and Harold. The three of them slowly walking out of the bar, Harvey pulls a pair of keys from the pocket of his paints and unlocks the bike leaning against the nearest lantern.

"Want a ride?"

There are two other people but by the way he looks at the redhead, the question was clearly directed at her. She hesitates for a moment, shuffling on the spot. A part of her wants to say yes, the other knows it's of no use as they have to travel in opposite directions. Whatever her answer would have been doesn't matter, it's Harold who happily accepts the invitation.

She watches Harvey take a deep breath and shoot her a look but she grins and shakes her head. "I got to take the subway anyway," she reasons. Bringing the strap of her purse over her shoulder, she waves at them once, setting course to the nearest station. When she sees him cycle away in the distance, she spots Harold sitting on the back carrier and she snickers then, shaking her head. She grabs her phone and tries to clear her thoughts as she texts her friend.

\- **He is single. Fuck.**

**.**

Another Saturday night, another occasion for drinks. It's a different bar this time, bigger and they're supposed to meet the associates from Rand, Kaldor and Zane there but right now Donna's surrounded by the girls, each two glasses of alcohol in hand, waiting for the guys to arrive.

It isn't long before they do, the drinks quickly distributed. Donna's spare being taken by Harvey as the group of eight sit down at a nearby table. Each on either side of the table, the group consists of people who have been at Pearson Hardman for years and a few who like herself have only been there for a few short months, but it are moments like these where everyone gets to know each other.

She ends up telling Tanner about the part of town she used to live back in university, it's Harvey butting in to tell her he used to go to school there. The look Tanner throws in their direction easy for her to read, wondering if the two of them knew each other from before but the timing doesn't add up. She shakes her head and he does the same.

When the associates from the rival firm arrive, at last, the group moves to a bigger seating area in the back of the room. The new configuration meaning she ends up sitting nearly next to Harvey, just with Tanner in between them but she doesn't mind. Actually thinks it's for the best, a way for her to figure out what is going on. The conversation lands on their bigger goals if she ever sees herself as name partner. To answer truthfully she hasn't given it much thought, not after the struggle it was to even land herself a job as a lawyer in the first place. Harvey jokes about not having to worry about his name being on the wall, he also reasons it doesn't sound well with Hardman in the mix.

"Pearson Hardman Tanner," seems fine by me Travis counters.

Harvey laughs now, shakes his head. "No it doesn't," he argues, "besides there are far better options within the firm."

"Really?" Tanner fires back.

"Yeah," Harvey counters, "I know everyone's surname so."

"Bullshit."

"I do," he smirks.

Tanner shakes his head, not believing a word of what the other guy was saying. He points at Donna then, making Harvey follow his motion and he glances at the redhead.

"Paulsen."

Donna smiles, she isn't surprised by it at all. Had experienced a similar moment herself weeks before, it's when Tanner points at another colleague of theirs and Harvey's inability to answer that she feels it in the pit of her stomach again. The confusion, the uncertainty and maybe more. It shakes her enough to have her stand, signalling for Rachel to follow her as she moves to order another round of drinks. When she returns she notices the change of seats, Harvey now being seated next to her.

She extends a glass to him, she reads the look on his face as him telling her he has to go but he accepts it anyway. It's the mere time he needs to finish the drink that he stays, getting up then and indeed confirming what she suspected minutes before. He has to go.

Harvey excuses himself from the group, stalling right behind her seat. His left hand finding her right shoulder, a mere touch, gentle squeeze but she swears she feels a current run down her spine. "Have a good weekend," he tells her goodbye, the smile he flashes her not helping in any way and she can't find the words to answer. Because _shit._

.

The weeks that follow in the winter have many briefing breaks and lunches, but the time they share is limited. Always another colleague involved or taking the seat they might have been saving for the other. The latter something she wonders if it's true but she figures it might one afternoon as they cross the street. He's walking next to her, she can see he's about to say something when Harold steps in between them, striking up a conversation of his own. She can't see his initial response, hopes it to be the same as hers. Of disappointment, but she doesn't allow herself to dwell on it too much. Rachel soon walking up to her and the two girls easily chat away as they do so often.

It's Harvey stopping by in the bullpen later that afternoon that catches her attention. He usually only ventures there when someone asks for his help first. The same goes for Benjamin, but this time he was alone. He stops by Mike's cubicle, it's two down from hers and she hears them chat. That's no surprise given their friendship but she can feel his eyes burning her skin whenever he glances in her direction.

She wonders if Rachel is picking up something when the brunette tells her about a thing Harvey did for her when she just started out at the firm, little over a year ago. It's sweet, a side of him that doesn't surprise her at all but she's sure not everyone gets to see. And when Rachel tells her he's a good guy she can only agree.

It's Rachel again, sending her a look when Donna arrives back at her cubicle fifteen minutes after the briefing had ended. "I was just talking to Harvey about his class," is her defence, a shrug added to show it really was just that but as she drops down on her seat all she can do is repeat their conversation. His interest in her opinion on art, something he stated wasn't for him and yet he'd asked her to follow him to his office to show her the piece he'd been referring to. Listened to her ramble about the technique used and the other famous pieces by the same artist.

.

It's snowing all throughout December and the drinks shared this Saturday remain at the firm, the bunch of them seated around a big table in the associate's kitchen and when Harvey finally joins the rest, a glass of scotch in hand, there are only two free seats left. One right in front of him and one at the other side of the table next to her, the latter the one he chooses.

Their banter starting the second he sits down, and while they're part of a big group the moment feels just them. Bodies angled towards one another, no one else joining in on the topics they discuss for a change. It's him bringing an end to it though, but only because he spots Benjamin working away in the distance.

"I should go and help him."

As much as she enjoys talking to him, she doesn't have it in her to tell him otherwise. Actually admiring his loyalty, it is exactly something she would do if it were Rachel or Mike.

It's nearly an hour later when he returns, the table now empty except for Rachel and Donna. The two girls giggling away over drinks, he stops next to Donna's seat again. "You two leaving or can I interest you in one refill."

Rachel shares a look with the redhead, she had just said she was about to leave but changes her tune now. Donna merely slides her glass in his direction and he takes the hint. The bottle of scotch he brings back stolen from the partner's kitchen, he fills the three glasses and returns to the chair he was seated before. Right next to Donna.

One refill becomes a second, a third and with each the laughter shared between the three of them increases until it flips into a serious mood. The topic of family returns, Donna once more mentions her father. It's not the complete story she told him before but he nods and says he remembers, neither of them repeating what Rachel doesn't know.

It's then that he opens up about his own parents, their divorce, his mother's betrayal. She can merely nod, whisper a sorry as she takes in his story. The meaning of it, the rarity of the moment shared while not alone, hitting her when Rachel says she didn't know this about him.

.

The holidays are around the corner, the workload at a peak and the morale at a low. The cooperation of her computer at the same level as for the first time in months something stops working again. She saunters down the hallway to the office on the 46th floor. The 'hey' she usually greeted him with on the tip of her tongue she doesn't end up saying it in the same way when she only spots Benjamin.

She explains the problem, the IT specialist nods in understanding and gets up to help her. Following her back to her cubicle with a new piece of hardware. He replaces the compromised piece with the new one, restarting her computer and telling her she's good to go.

Not even ten minutes have passed before her screen freezes again, she figures it might just be a delay at first. Deciding to wait it out for another five minutes when she glances at her screen again, now noticing the time displayed in the bottom right corner of her screen was a solid fifteen minutes ago and doesn't change anymore either.

She sighs once more, pushing her desk chair back and making her way to the IT department once more. This time she finds both men at their desk, the soft hey however not used this time around either when Benjamin is the first to speak.

"It crashed again? "

"Yes," she answers, "but this time it looks like everything but my mouse stopped working."

Harvey looks back and forth between the redhead and his colleague, a frown knitting between his brows when he realises he's missing a part of the conversation at hand. When Benjamin gets up so does he, but he sits back down when the younger man looks confused. Harvey now only verbally mixing himself into the conversation, offering his opinion based on the answers she gives on Benjamin's questions. Staying behind when the other two return to her cubicle.

.

It's the day before the holiday break and compared to the weeks before, everyone is buzzing. Ten free days a welcome change from the long workweeks and the dinner everyone is about to attend a nice way to close the year.

She is one of the last to leave the firm, so is he, yet they don't get to share a cab as he waits around for Mike to show up and she joins Katrina, Louis. Rachel already having gone to the venue straight from court with her mentor, Jessica. A wrong turn of the cab driver causes the group of seven to arrive at the same time anyway.

The pre-dinner mixer already buzzing they each get a glass of champagne and find themselves a free table in the back of the room. A toast shared between the young employees, it's then that she notices his outfit. For the first time in months, she spots him not only wearing a suit, a tuxedo at that. The sight doing more to her than she likes to admit, but she can't help but compliment on him for it.

As the rest of the employees moves to the dining hall, their little table stays behind a bit. Waiting for the rush to go by, they finish their drinks and follow the rest. Donna walks over to the wardrobe, reaching for her coat, it's Harvey who gets her for her.

"Thank you," she smiles, holding out her hand but he keeps holding onto it.

"Any time," he counters, opening the door to the next room for her. He lets her enter first and hands of their coats at wardrobe linked to the dining hall again. He follows her then, to the dining room. Most of the places already taken, there are exactly four seats left at one end of a table. One for Rachel, one for Mike and two for them.

The five-course dinner is a blast, the food divine, the alcohol free-flowing and the speeches never ending but the moments in between it's the four of them in their own bubble in the midst of an office party. Inside jokes made that will be repeated and laughed about months later still, it's the ease of the moment that has her bolder than usual. Toying a line she doesn't know if she wants to cross or not, but when the dinner turns into drinks the banter kicks up to another level.

He mentions once more that she's short, it results in a look. He points out her heels, she jokes about a movie he once saw. When the subject arises, they both bring out the cringeiest pick up lines, using them on one another. A glass is shared and hands brush.

It's another hour later when the entire group of the firm decides to move the party elsewhere, when she asks him to come along he says he can't because of class. She knows that's true, he told her before about the tests coming up and when she asks again, pleading with him over a drink, he almost caves.

"I would," he reasons, "I want to. I just -"

"Have class."

"Yeah."

She bobs her head up and down, already knows he won't change his mind but it's fun to toy with him anyway. When everyone makes their way over to the wardrobe he does so too, returning with not just his but also her jacket. Handing it over, he gives her one more smile. "Have fun."

"Good luck in class," she calls after him. "And happy holidays."

"Happy holidays to you too, Donna."

.

Well-wishes are shared from one colleague to another on the first day back, a shake of hands, a hug and two kisses on the cheek here and there, except between them. By the time she does run into him, it feels too late for the pleasantries to be exchanged. He doesn't, so she doesn't either.

And the New Years drink at the firm a week later certainly isn't the occasion for it either. She wasn't in the mood for it in the first place, it is his day off certainly not helping. She doesn't want to think much off it, and she doesn't when the speeches begin. Everyone holding a glass of champagne and toasting on the New Year, she plays along happily.

Only genuinely starting to enjoy the party when Harvey appears out of nowhere, raising his glass to meet hers first, Rachel's next and at last Mike's. There isn't any time for a conversation as the next speech starts off a silly game. They end up in opposite teams, competitiveness exuding both of them as they discuss every quiz answer. She proves him wrong on the first two questions, he proves her wrong on the next.

The teams mix and scatter and she ends up in a conversation with three other colleagues. Samantha, Norma and Claire, the latter six months pregnant and discussing her relationship. One thing leads to the other and inter-office relationships are addressed, both women concluding it's an absolute no go and Donna can't help but hold her breath. Her eyes finding him in the distance.

It's Claire then who looks at her, asking the redhead if she's in a relationship.

"I'm not," she answers.

"We need to find you someone," Samantha adds, it's the same promise the blonde made during the Christmas drinks.

_I have, _the redhead thinks but she doesn't say it and she's glad she didn't when she hears the next sentence leave Norma's lips.

"Harvey has a girlfriend again."

"He does?" Samantha asks.

_He does? _The redhead's hearts breaks, and it's in that moment that she truly realises how deep in she got into this. The news taking her completely by surprise, more than the first time she feared she might have a crush on a colleague and she fights back a sob.

"Yeah, it's been years," Norma explains, "but he's such a good guy. He really deserves this."

It are words she fully agrees with because he is and he does and yet it hurts. It hurts because she didn't hear it from him and at the same time she's glad she didn't have to hear it from him.

"That's nice," she mutters, at last, eyeing the glass of champagne in her hand. She downs the little bit of alcohol that was still inside, her mood having flipped for the second time that day and she stays around another ten minutes, just to be polite but then she excuses herself.

There aren't any tears, there's confusion though. A lot of it, she always prided herself on being able to read people and never in her life had she failed as drastically as this time around. Failed to read herself, that's what hurts the most.

She questions their interactions, her own feelings. Were they even real? Or did it cloud her judgement, did she make something of it that it clearly wasn't? Did she just see what she wanted to see?

It are questions that occupy her mind for weeks to come, every interaction with him next different from before and yet the same.

When she has a problem, there are still the smiles shared. The different tones of voice being used, it's still him walking to her workplace and sitting down next to her. Him playing with her four colour Bic pen and joking around.

"What are we going to do when we can't fix this?"

She swallows when she hears it, the "we" being used as always and it has her changing her behaviour towards him. Her reactions measured. "I guess I would have the afternoon off."

He laughs, looks at her. "Let me ask Jessica for the same."

She pretends to laugh but isn't genuine, just questions what it all means. If she's reading into things she shouldn't or if he's just can't read his own actions and how they affect others.

She settles on the latter when it's him coming to an art exhibition Jessica sponsored a week later, one he had no interest in but she said she did and he showed up. It's him standing next to her during the speeches. It's him asking her for one more drink when she says she wants to leave and it's him escorting her to the back of the gallery to discuss a piece of art on display because she gives in. It are the hushed tones again, the laughs, the jokes, the looks, all things she tries to act differently to this time around but when an acquaintance of hers shows up at the event and she goes to talk to him, it are his eyes she feels landing in their direction from the distance.

She eventually meets his girlfriend, her name is Scottie and she even likes the woman. She doesn't think it's completely fair though, his behaviour. Joking around with her before the brunette shows up and she finds it more than odd when he says her goodbye twice in a row with the other woman standing right beside him. The things she notices him do after that, come into work on his days off and staying late don't add up in her mind. It isn't how she would act in a new relationship, but it might be for him.

It isn't her place to comment or to judge. And thus like before, she tries to change her own actions. Distances herself from him.

They don't hang out as often as they used to, there aren't that many hearts to hearts anymore, but they are still friends. His behaviour when with her hasn't changed much, and after weeks of wondering what she should do, how she should act if she misread the situation. Misread him or misread herself, she realises that as long as she knows where she stands. As long as she can read her own intentions, it isn't up to her to change for him.

And she does know where she stands now. Exactly where she was months back, back then just a common sense thing, now a rule she lives by.

In the end, it doesn't really matter how it came to this, what does is that when she learns they're moving in together a few months later, the news doesn't hurt. In fact, she's genuinely happy for him.

She calls it a win.

Just like she does later that day in court.

_the end_

* * *

so yeah that's that. I know i should be writing other fics but it kept bugging me and i had to write it down.

ETA: now this story ended the way it did because this story is based on my own life. A few details that aren't mine to share aside (but are replaced by the best fitting canon comparison) all these conversations/moments literally happened... you can check with Josephine if you can figure out who she is and thus I had to keep the ending the way it in real life is as well.


End file.
